The Dark Side of E3: Part One Microsoft.

Okay so the mushy lovey-dovey feelings of E3 have subsided. Now its time that we as gamers take a step back and separate the mushrooms from the koopa troopers.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved E3. It was like Christmas and the Super Bowl made love with all my favorite animes and created a super-saiyan, demon-fox, hero baby. But there were just some things that I couldn’t ignore. So prepare yourselves gamers because I’m about to rant.

Microsoft:

Yes, the technology of Kinect is a step forward in gaming. Yes, controlling your digital media like Tom Cruise in Minority Report is super bad ass to the max. But Kinectimals? Really Microsoft? Really? I wanted to use my hands-free,state-of-the-art, motion controller to pull off double head shots with my fingers while kicking zombie dogs in the face. Instead, I have to pet a freaking tiger. Simply put, Microsoft completely forgot about hardcore gamers this E3. Now before you start yelling about Gears of War and Halo, relax. I’m talking about hardcore games for the Kinect. A lot of what Microsoft showed us were upgraded versions of Wii shovelware. I’m all for appealing to the emerging casual gamer market but for the love of master chief, couldn’t they have shown us at least a couple of games that weren’t  campy, cheesy, bonding experiences for the whole family? Also, I don’t know about anyone else, but that presentation with the little girl playing Kinectimals creeped me the hell out. Instead of introducing the Kinect as a revolution in all things gaming, Microsoft formally introduced us to the biggest gaming gimmick since Nintendo’s Virtual Boy.

Saving Grace: Kinect’s technology has a lot of potential to appeal to both the casual and hardcore gaming market. The first impression was definitely not super badass. But maybe with time, Kinect could really be the way we all game.

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m an overweight, pretentious, stupid, fanboy, who should die a horrible death? Comment and let me know. Also, tune in for my next post where I bravely take a virtual dump on Sony and Nintendo (as respectfully as I can).

Big 3 E3 Wrap Up

If you’ve been following the E3 coverage on sites like IGN and Gamespot, then right now you’re in some public bathroom, on the ground, in a fetal position, foaming at the mouth from over dosing on all of the super bad ass gaming news. Before I too succumb to the bitter sweet emotions of cardiac arrest, I thought I’d wrap up E3. I’ll focus on the big 3: Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo.

Microsoft.

Last year Microsoft captivated gamers by showing us prototypes of project Natal. This year the hardcore gaming king followed up by showcasing the nearly finished and newly renamed Kinect. I don’t know if the name change was a smart move but holy smokes batman, this bad ass piece of equipment makes controllers a thing of the past. With Kinect you can watch movies, play games, listen to music, and talk to your friends all without ever touching a dpad. Microsoft announced that Kinect will have 15 launch titles including Kinectimals, Kinect Sports, Joyride, Kinect Adventures, Your Shape, and Dance Central. In addition to the Kinect games, Microsoft showed us trailers and gameplay footage of Gears of War 3, Fable 3, and Halo Reach. Microsoft will also have timed exclusivity rights to Treyarch’s multi-platform Call of Duty: Black Ops. If that wasn’t enough, the gaming giant showed off Hideo Kojima’s next installment of the Metal Gear franchise Metal Gear Solid: Rising. Although this isn’t an exclusive, it is still a pretty healthy slap in the face to Sony fans. Microsoft capped off their conference by announcing a sleek, sexy, and oh so shiny Xbox Slim.

Sony

Sony, the once noble king of gaming, used this year’s E3 to try to regain it’s kingdom. It went back to its roots and focused on what made it a gaming god in the first place–Games. Games, games, games. Apparently, “exclusive” is Jack Tretton new favorite word. Sony announced PS3 exclusives Infamous 2, Killzone 3, Gran Turismo 5, Little Big Planet 2, Sly Cooper Collection, Final Fantasy XIV, Socom 4, and Twisted Metal. Hold on, hold on let me catch my breath. Jesus Christ, where’s my asthma pump? Okay, I’m good. Sony also announced exclusive content for multi-platform games like Assassins Creed Brotherhood, Medal of Honor, Mafia 2, and Dead Space 2. One of the biggest surprises of the conference was the announcement that, despite Valve’s heavy criticism of the PS3, Portal 2 will be coming to PlayStation alongside other platforms. On the hardware front, in addition to showing off games in 3D, Sony formally introduced us to the Move. The Move is Sony’s answer to Microsoft’s Kinect and Nintendo’s Wiimote. The motion controller will launch with EyePet, Sports Champion, Beat Sketch, High Velocity Bowling, Kung Fu Rider, and Time Crisis Razing Storm. Down the road it will have games like Echochrome,  The Fight: Lights Out, Motion Party, TV Super Star, Ape Escape, Sorcery, Tower, The Shoot, and Heroes on the Move. Love them or hate them, a gamer must admit that Sony is trying really really really hard to once again sit on the throne.

Nintendo

Nintendo is a lot like the third Hokage–old, wise, and mad crazy super powerful. Nintendo practically created gaming and has been around for generations. Because of this, gamers sometimes underestimate the old timer. But just when you think the Mario ship has sailed, BOOM, Nintendo drop kicks you in the throat. This E3 was no different. Nintendo announced that it will bring back childhood favorites like Zelda, Metroid, and Kirby. But that’s not all ladies and gents. Let me paint the picture. The lights dimmed, the audience fell silent, and in the distance kongos and drums started beating. Can you see it? DONKEY KONG! Yes, Donkey Kong. Side scrolling, barrel bursting, banana collecting insanity will be coming to a living room near you. But STILL even Donkey Kong wasn’t the biggest announcement of the conference. During this years E3Nintendo introduced the world to the 3DS, a portable system that shows video games in 3D without gamers having to wear glasses. Launch titles include remakes of classics like Zelda Ocarina of Time, Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater, Kid Icarus, and much more. I can’t wait to try out one of those things. The 3DS was hands down the biggest announcement of E3. Oh and I forgot…GOLDENEYE!!!

Before I rest my weary head and dream of all the glorious games to come, I will end this article with a quote from Kevin Butler’s epic E3 speech:

“Though we may pledge fanboy allegiances to different flags, deep down inside we all serve one master. One king. And his name is GAMING!”